Jenn T

Since it was over long ago. I guess I can blog about it. I was showered with so many questions and I couldn't really answer all of them. I'm not badmouthing anyone or even patronizing anyone in this post. Lest you want to take it that way, what can I say? It involves me and I have every right to share it.

Many of you know that I've been single for 4 months now. Yeah, exactly 4 months ago, I called it off. Simply because I had it. Well, my ex was a nice guy, at first. It's funny how guys appear so nice in the beginning, and treats you like trash in the end. No doubt it hurts. I tolerated.

As many of you know, I was cheated on.. by him. ACTUALLY. Most of them knew it loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong before I did. I never really suspected much since my ex told me they were "just friends". Well, throughout, I was never really happy, I was never the first, because she was. She mattered more. I don't know why. I tolerated.

Before we got together, he vowed to never cheat on me. ever. Ironically, it happens. Happen by purpose or by chance, I don't know. But it really shattered the trust we had. They never stopped..till 5 months later? I cant remember. But yeah, he was devastated when she cuts it off. I was there for him. At his lowest point. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY SHOULD HE FEEL SAD. Honestly, If a third party was already gone, a celebration should be held. Instead it was like a damn funeral. I tolerated.

Other than that, I was never really treated as a girlfriend. Does my birthday mean anything to you? Other than to make me cry? Never really took time out to spend with me. Instead, I have to go all the way. No, I'm not being calculative. But, come on, give and take? compromising? I feel as if I was wearing the pants in the relationship. I grew tired eventually.. knowing I was the only one working on it while he does nothing. I started growing numb after I found out about all the lies he hid from me for one whole year. That was the last straw.

What's a relationship when there's no trust? Shit. Really.

Nothing was done to even save it. What can I do? Stop an avalanche using my bare hands? Geez.

Oh wait. He did say he would do his best to make it up to me... And now,

4 months later... *cricket sound* UHHHH. You get the point.

There are some which are not even worth glancing at. There's no point waiting for that "old him" which was oh-so-sweet to return. There's no point whining and begging for things to be how it was, when we first got together. Those were merely just to impress me and to get me. I did love him. But I do have my limits when it comes to containing and tolerating bullshits you know. Fell for it. Learned from it. Got over it.

Throughout, I fell into depression, lost a lot of weight, flunked my studies and yeah. I regret it much. There's nothing to miss.. really. I can't really expect much for my SPM results. Dad was disappointed with my trials results.. Yeah. The worst part? I was discouraged to enter the course that my dad chose. So I had to choose another. I learned my lesson the hard way. I am blessed enough to be given a second chance in college and not to screw it up this time.

I'm not saying that the faulty one was him. Maybe I could be blamed too. For suspecting too much. For not being good enough. WHO KNOWS? Oh well. I guess I'm totally over it. Life is too short to mourn over one. I too, believe what goes around comes back around.

Oh btw, the word "sorry" is too cliche. Seriously. How many times can that word really help? That word has to be accompanied by actions. True? To me, repeating mistakes only shows how NOT sorry you are. So uhh.. save it for someone who really needs to hear that. hmm :)

Objecting? Speak.

you mattered :)

Christmas was sweet! though I only had mommy,who was busy working. lol.
went out with Peter :)
watched Alvin and The Chipmunks 2!
and had our dinner at Italiannies

THEY HAD HUMONGOUS MEATBALLS.

GET READY TO GO TO SCHOOL... NOT. ;D
gotta trim my nails, make sure my hair is not dyed,
iron my uniform, pack my school bag etc etc
those days are gone. O_O
after 11 years, I really don't know if it will benefit me in college. LOL.

on Sunday, was at 1U with my cousins.
and we bumped into two mascots.
they forced me to take a picture with it.
with them in it lah. lol.
childish. HAHA.